courtney's Blog

     As the phoenix rising from the ashes, she found herself wet with the dew of rebirth.  It was a new smell , familiar as impending rain, but new.  She stepped off the train platform and headed in the direction that felt most right.  She walked for what seemed like an eternity just breathing and thinking and walking.  She pretended not to notice the people she passed, just noticing them noticing her.  Every step was as a newborn calf.  Freedom was something she had never experienced.  Never.  To be in control of her every move and thought was so new and delightful she felt like raw electricity in motion.   She walked  through the streets barely noticing the misty rain that curled her hair and made her skin feel like soft wet fruit newly separated from its tree and peeled by a lover for another to eat.  She had waited patiently her whole life to feel  this  feeling.  It was the feeling she was born for.  The one that to her soul, was pure.  It was as if she were a bird who after one thousand years of burning desire for flight suddenly  discovered what his wings were for.  She savored every step and yet she had nowhere to go.  She knew instinctively that she did indeed have somewhere to go, she just didn't know where it was yet.  It would come to her just as the freedom came to her, silently creeping on the edge of the life as we know it and then enacting the crack and blinding flash as lightening strikes an ancient tree.  The tree knows that the universe is thinking its name but is utterly shocked at the the sudden hot,  blue voltage that consumes its entire being for a fraction of a fraction of time .  It's the marriage of abject fear and the hopeful  anticipation of a young child doing anything for the first time.  She kept walking for quite some time shrouded in the ecstasy of the unknown and driven by faith and something only her heart knew...