Current mood:
bummed
Blah.....
That is how I feel right now.
I wish I could take a long hot bath and wash away all this....ARGH!
So this boy who amazes me everytime hung out with me today and I was honestly surprised that it worked out.
It went so fucking well, or at least I thought it did...I mean, we laughed lots, talked about things that have meanings, and everything just felt so....so right.
Like my heart beat did not settle the whole damn time...I thought I might pass out.
MAybe he noticed, maybe not....i really don't know.
Anyways, I had to open my mouth and ask to kiss him...of course he said no.
Well no, he said "I would but, you're too good of a friend."
What the fuck does that mean?
I tried not to cry in front of him, and I sucecceded at that, but I feel like I'm gonna break any minute now...RAWR.
I really need to get inside his fucking mind and find out what the fuck he means by too good of a friend.
Even though I wanna stay his friend, I'm tired of it. He always seems to date these girls that just hurt him and I'm like HELLO!!! I wouldn't do that! but no...I don't get the chance...
What is wrong with me...Why am I always the friend? Can't I be more??? GOAHHHH!!!
Anyways, I got a poem outta this so here it is.
This poem is for him...he knows who he is...too bad he probally wont ever read this stupid thing anyways...oh well...
Stupid Little Feelings Get in the Way of Everything
by: Renee Phipps
Summer days grow hot
And summer nights grow long
But time with you is in a standstill
I lose track everytime
And when you are out of site
I sigh with all my might And sit down to think
Is there ever going to be more
The things you do
The words you say
Strike my heart like a poisioness viper
That kills its victim so slow
And so sly
So that they beg to die
But at the same time you're like heroin
Fucking addicting as hell
And even as the pain grows
My feelings get stronger times four
Damn those feelings
Damn all you make me feel
But most of all
Damn me for letting you turn me inside out
For the whole world to see.
...Yeah I'm a fucking loser....oh well....I needed this outta me...
Bye.